I can say that after eight weeks and four days, I am officially okay with dating and officially okay with being single. Although I do wish for a magic genie (or God, either one) to just provide me with my husband and I don't have to go through dating but such is life. There is one thing I do not understand. I have been told over and over that if I don't like somebody or if I don't see it going anywhere, tell them I'm not interested in the nicest way possible. I don't like telling people I'm not interested because I feel that that in itself is mean. But, I have had to do it twice and both times, I was called an "asshole" and the other said, "F*** you." It's like, if I'm honest (and not even rude), I get in trouble. But then if I don't tell them, then I'm "leading them on" which eventually leads to the same ending.
So with the latter one, I was messaging him on Facebook today. Let me reword that. He messaged me over and over and over again. He becomes desperate and obsessive and I told him I don't want to be friends. It just got to the point where he sounded crazy. That's when he said, "F*** you", I block him, delete him, and less than five minutes later, I get a text saying, "Are you kidding me?" I am not going to lie, I am a little freaked out.
I had a guy message me and say, "Hey, what are you doing? Let's hang out. I just got done at the gym. Will you please be a sweetie and let me use your shower?" Uhhh....what! I don't think that is something you say to someone you haven't met yet. I found out that this is the same person who said, "In a land of burnt waffles, your a chocolate chip cookie." I let him know I heard that before.
Besides crazy old men, I have been having a decent time with men closer to my age. I went to the Jazz game last night and had a really good time with my date. He is such a sweetheart. He is so smart and that is what I want. I don't think I want a serious relationship right now but if it happens, it happens, and who it happens with is not up to me. I am glad that I am finally okay. I am not 100% but I am in a much better place than I was four weeks ago.
I am glad that the Utes season is basically over because every time I watch the game, I do picture Kevin being there. I think it's only natural that I dwell on someone who was a huge part of my life. It doesn't mean I want him back because I don't. If he came back to me, I would say no. But I do know for a fact that he won't. I know how he is and he doesn't go after things. He let me go twice and that was two times too many. The memories will be there and unfortunately I cannot erase those. But I m doing a lot better emotionally.
I have probably gone on six or seven dates the last eight weeks. Some were awkward, some were fun, but all of them were different. I can list out what I want in a man and a relationship and a husband but it seems like that changes depending on the person. Some things that were important aren't as important or vice versa. My wants and needs change and other things compensate. I don't know if that is good or if that is something I should do but I can't help it. Some guys like Mike are super hot but aren't interested in me. And that's fine. Some guys aren't as cute and are interested in me. I know one day I will find my match and all of this will lead to him. Maybe I have met him already and we just aren't in a place to date. Maybe I haven't met him yet. It makes me happy knowing that he is out there. And in the meantime, I have to deal with all of the silliness and craziness that comes with dating.
- ► 2016 (14)
- ► 2015 (23)