If Valentine's Day was three months ago, I would not have made it. I would have probably cried, been lonely and sad. But since it's been 4 1/2 months since my ex broke up with me, I'm in a much better place than I was a few months ago. In fact, I never thought I would really be at this point. I am not 100% but I am probably 90% when it comes to being alone and being OK with being alone. It doesn't mean that I always want to be alone, but it is nice on Valentine's Day 2015 to just run errands like it's a typical Saturday.
I have not gone in a date in a few weeks. Half by choice and the other half because there isn't really anyone I want to spend more time with than another. I don't know where to meet people anymore. School, work, and online seem to be the top options. When I was in school, I was in relationships the whole time. Last week I went out dancing which was SO fun and much needed. I felt amazing and it was nice to just have a girls night! I didn't really see or talk to guys, it was more for myself. Last night I decided to take a different route and go to church with my sister. I wanted to go out and meet new people. And of course the cutest guy there was married with kids. Story of my life.
It's easy and difficult to speak with people that are currently going through a divorce or breakup. I did go through it myself so I understand the situation. But I felt like being in the situation was a completely different mindset than being outside of the situation, where I am now. I am not sure what it took exactly for me to move on. Maybe it was my ex's actions. It wasn't anything he said to me. It was that I knew he was already dating someone else. Why cry and waste my time (I enjoyed my time with him but felt like since he moved on, he no longer cared) if he has moved on?
Kevin and I had an amazing relationship. We laughed ALL the time. Like all the time. He truly made me happy. TimeHop (the app) reminded me that I truly was in love and thought we would get married. On February 14, 2014, I wrote this on Facebook
"To the love of my life: I can't wait to see you today. Thank you for the flowers and chocolates and teddy bear (piks coming soon), I love you so much. You make me complete and I am so lucky to have you in my life."
Seven months later, we were done. I got asked today, "What is your type?"
To be honest, I have dated White, Belizean, Mexican, and African American guys.
I guess when I find "him", that can be answered. In the mean time, I am learning to be my best friend and being okay with being me!
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