Sunday, March 15, 2015

You are too pretty to be chasing after guys

I just got done with a workout sesh. A much needed session to clear my thoughts. This weekend was a wake up call. I went to Wendover and met up with Mercedes, Leno, and his Mom. It was around 2-3am and I was using the slot machines. I ran out of money that I had put in one machine and Mercedes and I were just talking.....about life and my dating life. Mercedes told me, "You are too pretty to be chasing guys...." and that's when it hit me and this is something I have not forgotten all weekend. I AM too pretty to be chasing guys. Why should I be chasing guys? Why, for 29 years, do I have to "convince" someone to date me (Albert, aka Ex #1), why do I have to convince someone that I am trustworthy, loyal, happy, fun to be around, etc.

Guys that I normally text, I didn't text this weekend. I can not even tell you how sick I am of going after guys. It's not fair to me that I don't have a boyfriend, that I'm not married, that I don't have kids, but this is my reality. As much fun as the single life can be, I will never want that over someone loving me. Not someone that I just love. But someone that loves me. I have always heard that guys want the chase but believe me when I say they will be running a 5K. I am so over dating. I am so over chasing guys. I am so over talking to guys that don't want to hang out with me, don't want to date me, don't want to make me #1 or a priority.

Another lesson learned the hard way is this. I have had guy after guy go through a bad break up, divorce, engagement, whatever it is...and say they won't be dating someone for a very long time because of it. This is completely not true. Sometimes people are in your life whether or not you plan on them being there. No matter what you are going through, if you really like someone, you will or can date them. I truly believe that you may want that, you may have a hard time, but if you meet someone, you can change all of that. And I have seen it happen. Therefore, to me, that is an excuse.

These lessons have triggered into something else (this has truly been an eye opening weekend!) that I am a little embarrassed to talk about. I am not the cleanest person and I also put things off when it comes to things around the house. When my cousin was here a week ago, she made me realize how much I really do put off and today, I did a few things that needed to get done and really helped me to feel more accomplished. I am also trying to better myself. I went to the gym yesterday and tonight because I truly have no reason to be fat. In Wendover I realized how out of shape I was when I walked on the skywalk from Montego to Nugget. We were basically stalked. This guy was totally behind us walking faster and we had to walk faster and man, I was so tired! So...we will see how much of this actually sticks but right now my life is too valuable to be lazy and I should not have to take the initiative when it comes to relationships. This next relationship will be equal.

From the mouth of British Comedian James Corden in Glamour magazine,

"...if you're in a place of heartache, remember that when you lay your head down tonight, somewhere else a person you may have never met is doing the same. And that person is going to love you more than the last one ever did. So look after your broken heart tonight; tomorrow could be the day it starts to mend."

Thursday, March 5, 2015

What dating life?

My dating life the past month and a half has been pretty much non-existent. I don't think I have gone out on a date or even kissed a guy since....January maybe? As much as I want the attention, cuddles, and love, every day is getting easier to be alone. I have noticed, as I talk with some of my friends, that people really do get used to being alone. And they are okay with it. I don't know if I'm okay with it, but it is easier. I talk to guys every day, but there have been way too many crazies lately. Part of me wants to remove online dating altogether. I haven't had much success and would much rather meet someone in person. It is a little bit hard though when I'm at work all the time. I don't want to meet anyone at the bar. Oh that reminds me. I was at the club with Marcos, Mercedes, and Leno a few weeks ago and I get a tap on my shoulder. I turn around and there are two guys right there, pointing to another guy saying he tapped me. The other guy happened to be on his phone so I was super confused. It happened like five more times and the guy on the phone finally admitted to doing that. He asked for my number so I gave it to him. He texted me about a week later and come to find out he's 23!! 23!! This is my sign that I am way too old to go out :) JK. I have had a blast lately though with just going to the club and dancing all night.

The last week or so, my cousin and her husband have been here and I had SO much fun with them! It's been non-stop busy but so worth it. Between Buffalo Wild Wings, the Jazz game, snowboarding, Purple Turtle, Texas Roadhouse, Cheesecake Factory, the mall, and showing them Utah, it has seriously been the BEST time! They should be coming back in July so I can't wait :)

I'm not quite sure where my dating life will be taking me but I have been reading La La Anthony's book, "The Love Playbook" and below are some things I have learned:

-You teach people how to treat you
-You have to live your life doing what pleases and completes you
-How a woman relates to a man in relationships depends on her relationship with her father
-There is no amount of money that can replace peace and happiness or your family
-If you can't be yourself with a man, you can't be with that man
-Don't try to change anyone and don't allow anyone to change you
-It's important to be reliable and effective; opportunities come to those who work hard
-Time heals all wounds

If you love basketball and looking for love advice, I would recommend reading this book :)


About Me

I'm Abbie. I am 28 years old and live in Utah. I love Social Media, Marketing, shopping, sports, traveling, shopping, giveaways, family, fashion, and currently writing a book.