It seemed like I was watching a movie. I had Luke Bryan on stage engaging the crowd with his handsome face, funny personality, and alcoholic shots on-stage. About an hour into his performance, a couple appeared diagnol from me. Seeing as how I like to write and be creative, I completely pictured their story as it unraveled in front of me. She seemed way more into him initially. My guess is they had dated before, weren't now, but after a few drinks, you never would have known. Her arms were around him perfectly as Luke Bryan poured out one love song after another. At one point, they kissed. You could tell it's been awhile since they had kissed. Or there was a lot of tension to make this one more intense than others. I could feel the spark as it happened. After that, you could tell that he was letting his guard down more and was actually more into her. He was paying attention to her. Electronics were nowhere to be found and it was just them. They made out again. So romantic.
Then it hit me. Most likely, once the drinks died down, they would go back to arguing, go back to not dating, go back to the off-and-on of their relationship - as I saw it. I looked over at Luke Bryan. He was singing, "I'm drunk on you and high on summertime" and right then, I realized how much fun this summer has been. And how much I need to enjoy the summer. One day I will have a man that will love me but I want him to love me before a concert, before the craziness of life, during the drama, after the drama and after a night of an amazing concert full of love and emotion. I have realized that the last few weeks, I may not be extremely happy, but I am content. I am where I want to be for being single. I am okay with being by myself. I am learning to do things on my own. I am learning to not rely or trust guys 100%. I am completely guarding my heart.
Two weeks ago, Teddy stopped talking to me completely. He ignored my texts and phone calls. Normally I would go after him but why would I do that? It's so elementary to beg someone for a friendship or a relationship. One week ago I had another friend that didn't want to hang out because he thought I liked him. I am so over drama. I am so over elementary childish play. I am waiting. I am waiting for someone who wants me. Someone who wants to be with me and love me.
Here I am on a Friday night, just took a 3 hour nap and now watching "He's Just Not That Into You". Maybe I can learn a thing or two. But in all seriousness, I am content. I am okay. I am me.
Friday, August 28, 2015
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