I won't even lie. This week was so stressful. I can't necessarily pinpoint a certain thing but I feel that it may be a combination of events. I feel like I have completely changed my life the last 29 days. Or events in my life have changed the last 29 days. It's funny how one second I can be super excited and the next, super sad and depressed. Unfortunately, it was this whole week. I did go to the Jazz game with my niece, Emerson, on Monday, and then the Jazz game again on Wednesday with Jared. I had fun but there is still a part of me that isn't used to this new lifestyle. I guess you can say that I am dating someone who is very special to me. It's in the early stages so I won't go on and on, but he makes me extremely happy. I am not out every weekend like I was last year. It's been at least 2-3 weeks since I have been out dancing or out at the club. This is just a new routine and new life. Although I had fun dancing all the time and meeting new people, there comes a point where I have to settle down. And that's what I'm trying to do right now. But it is completely difficult to do something routine for a year or more and then completely stop. I am happy to stop. It's just....different.
Also, Mom gets married in a week and a half. It still blows my mind that it's really happening and I know our relationship will change. It already has. I was thinking about this last night. We used to talk everyday or every other day. Now it's maybe once a week. I guess that's what happens when you are in a serious relationship (almost marriage). You focus on one person. Not a bad thing. Just once again...different.
Then there are the relationships with my girlfriends. Andrea and I have not talked in about a week and a half. I won't bore you with that argument. I do miss her SO much but I don't miss the drama and the arguments. Andrea deleted me from all social channels and "accidentally" texted me last weekend in which I did not respond to her. Krista and I have been friends and co-workers for quite some time. Probably 3-4 years. A few months ago she messaged me on Facebook and asked if I could hang out. I had plans so I told her that. The last thing she said to me was, "I'm not going to ask you to hang out anymore. You always bail out. Anyway...." If her and I had plans, then it would be okay or more justifiable for her to say that. Since we hadn't planned anything, I once again felt validated for not talking or responding to her. She reached out to me a few times the past few months but also blocked/deleted me from social channels. I do feel alone at times but I would rather be alone than have to deal with unnecessary drama.
I am grateful for Fridays. I am grateful for weekends so my body and mind can reset. Although times get tough, or different, it shouldn't make your life horrible. I have to learn to roll with the punches and know that life won't always go the direction I want it to go. Just had to vent! x0x0
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