What is love?

I have been dwelling on writing about my past relationship for awhile now. But I feel like now is the perfect time. It's been almost a month since Kevin broke up with me and my heart was broken to pieces. I could honestly say that he was my life. He was my love and he was all I knew for almost three years. He made me laugh and smile like nobody in the past could. He made me happier than anyone and anything and I was so happy with him. And now it's gone. I have not had my heart broken to pieces this much until now. I have never felt so alone. I have never felt so hurt. I have never felt so betrayed. Two nights ago he told me he was dating someone else and a few hours ago I looked at his Facebook page and there she was. What a jerk. But yet I still cling to him. I still want him to hold me. I still want him to snuggle me. I picture him walking up the stairs and saying, "Hi" to me as he comes over. And now it's like I don't exist. I fee alone. I feel sad. I feel unwanted. I feel like he has moved on where it should be the other way around. I feel like the last month has been a blur. Like I just want my old life back. I want to faint. I want to pass out. I feel depressed but not to the point where I miss work. I thought I knew what love was. Our relationship was perfect. Maybe too perfect but I absolutely loved it. We went to football games, went to the movies, we traveled and road dirt bikes, I met his family, I spent Christmas with his family in Colorado last year. I miss his nieces. I miss his sisters family. I miss everything. I miss love. I miss attention. I miss happiness. I miss attention and affection.

I want to be happy.


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