Thanksgiving is a day to analyze your life, the blessings, the amazing people in your life, your health, food, etc. and although I am grateful for all of that, I also see it as a day to analyze my life and where I want to be. Everyday must be Thanksgiving if that's the case :)

Yes, this is another blog about the men in my life. And love. And everything I want and need in my life. One of my weaknesses, I would say, is that I do want to find someone to date/marry and sometimes that comes across as desperate/needy/going way too fast. I literally am just realizing this now. Once I hang out with someone, build that connection, and things are good, instead of just "going with the flow", I try and pry and see how the other person feels and where the other persons head is at. Turning 30 next week, I'm realizing the older I get, the more I realize I don't want to waste time. I will not date or hang out or talk to someone on a consistent basis if I don't see things going somewhere. Or, if I do, I make sure the other person knows how I feel. Maybe that's why it's hard to have guy friends anymore because all of my "friends" are guys that I like or have a connection with. Exceptions would be the married men of course.

The next time I hang out with a guy and it may potentially lead somewhere, as much as I don't want to, I'm going to "let things happen". It's a scary thing for me to just let things happen because what if he doesn't want a relationship in the first place? This is where my confusion lies. If I hang out with someone who I have a connection with but they don't want to be in a relationship, is it pointless to hang out? Is it pointless to talk? That person has said they liked me, feels comfortable around me, sees potential in me, sees support in me, yet doesn't want a relationship? Anytime soon? This may or may not be a real life situation.

Confusion always occurs with me and relationships. My three serious relationships in my life seemed to not run away when I brought up potential. Potential, my friends. This does not mean jumping into something. This just means it's not a waste for either one of us and both want to see where things go. It doesn't mean exclusive dating right away. It doesn't mean relationship right away. It means something could be there. Whether a month from now or a year from now. Anyways, I will be doing something different next time. I'm going to go back to this blog. I'm going to remind myself. Go. With. The. Flow.

I over-analyze all the time. In case you can't tell. But at the same time, I have my reasons. I don't want to be hurt, I don't want to waste time, I think about my future often. I think about marriage and kids. I think about what I want and what I don't want.

One thing I do want. I want to love. I want to be loved. Whenever that is and whoever that is with, I know by that point both of us will know it's the right thing.

Happy Thanksgiving friends. x0x0


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