My New Life - Part Two

On March 20, 2012, I signed for my first condo. As I sit here today, I am reminiscing on all of the memories that I have built, through good times and bad, as my house will be sold in six days. I have decided to sell my home and build a condo in Saratoga Springs. Overall, it puts me in a better Financial situation and if there is anything I can do to better myself and move forward in life, I am there. In less than two weeks, over Thanksgiving, I will be in California with my grandparents and cousins. My biggest fear is coming back and forgetting that I don't have a permanent home until my condo is complete the end of January(ish). I know it will be hard. Although I wouldn't consider myself highly materialistic, I have clung to my home as my peaceful spot. It's my go-to when I am anxious, it's my go-to when I want to relax, it's something that I have been able to create and build on my own. It's something that I have claimed as mine. I have built it into something that I am happy with. I do get anxious when huge changes happen. In 2012 I went through a huge bout of anxiety/depression. Although the changes were positive (graduated with my Bachelor's degree, moved into my condo, got a new job all within 8 months), I never want to go back to that point of high anxiety. I had social anxiety, I missed three days of work, didn't go out much, and it was the hardest thing I have gone through up to this point. Since I have been through that, I have been trying to control my anxiety and my emotions. The last few months - since deciding to sell and build - have been extremely chaotic and stressful. Although I am nervous to move, have a temporary place to live for two months, and hope that my new condo is built by the end of January, I have to think of the positive and balance my life in order to make it through this. I know I am making the right decision but, sometimes it's hard. I am not one to jump out of my comfort zone immediately. This year has been full of changes and stepping out of my comfort zone. Not only am I selling my home, but building a new home, I voted for the first time ever, I went to concerts even though I had no idea who the artist was, went hiking which I never do, and went indoor go-kart racing. Stepping out of my comfort zone has been amazing but it's still scary. This is scary, stressful, and exhausting but I'm hoping that once things get situated, I'll go back to the happy and positive Abbie that I know. The unknown is scary. I put too much belief in the fact that everything will go right but I have to prepare myself for roadblocks during this process. Any positive words or word of motivation to help push me in the right direction will be super helpful.

Thanks for your support,
x0