Book Review - Raising Kanye

I went into this book - "Raising Kanye: Life Lessons from the Mother of a Hip-Hop Star" knowing how much Kanye praised his Mom, but not really knowing anything about her and her life and how Kanye was raised. 

Ms. Donda West and I had way more in common than I ever thought - especially when it comes to parenting. She seemed like an AMAZING mother who never capped Kanye on his abilities. 

"I believe that your parents have a tremendous impact on the kind of parent you become."
"Kids pay attention to what they don't have monetarily only when there is a real lack of everything else."
"A lot of people like to coddle their children. I don't want to hurt their feelings, or make them for not achieving. But if you don't set the benchmarks, and if you don't set that bar high, you can't expect your children to excel." 
"I made sure that Kanye always knew he was loved"
"In fact, listening is the only way we can be effective in our teaching."
"You can say you love your children, but if you don't provide for them, do you really care about them?"

Donda was a loving and kind mother and did the best she could with what she had. She actually had a master's degree. She married Kanye's dad (Ray) who was an amazing photographer. They were married within three months with no intent of having children. Donda never wanted children - but three years into marriage, she had this craving for a child. Within two months of trying, Kanye was conceived and they were both extremely ecstatic. 

Ray was an amazing father - but, after 11 months - he ended up putting his photography business before his family and admitted that the photography business was more important. So they divorced. And Donda had 100% custody of him - without a fight. 

Even after the divorce, and through his life, Kanye had really strong male figures in his life. I really wanted to read this book to understand the "why" of Kanye West. 

In all reality, Donda made sure Kanye had amazing male figures. There were her parents - and Kanye's Dad's parents - and she made sure to only bring men around Kanye that she knew would be in the picture long-term. She explained that in the summer when Kanye would live with his dad, that is when she would take the time to date. Although I haven't ever been a single parent, a lot of single parent's say they put their children first and their dating life last. But her and I both agree that you still have needs and you still want to be loved - but you must be cautious on who you bring around. 

"- more than seventy percent of black children are born to single mothers" - that is a huge statistic - the difference was Donda had an education, enjoyed having Kanye's friends around, and wouldn't leave him for a year when she asked to speak English in China. She ended up taking him with her. What an experience! 

She put Kanye at the top, while still doing her best to provide, was good with her money so they could have good times together and she literally mimics the type of parent that I hope I am with my 11 year old. She owned a home, exposed him to the world, traveled, did free activities including art lessons for children, went bowling, shopping, and to the museum. 

"Giving kids whatever they want without first giving them everything they need - a solid foundation of morals, expectations, and discipline - is not parenting"
"Single mothers with sons are obliged to find strong, positive male figures who can be a model to their sons."
"Children, whether boys or girls, need men in their lives. This is particularly true of boys. If you don't believe it, ask all of the men who are currently in our prison system. More than ninety percent of them grew up without a father of father figure." --- WHAT!!! That is an unbelievable number. 

"I always believed that children aren't these silent slaves who should be seen and not heard, who should obey and nothing more. I believed that you should communicate with your child and that if you're a good parent, your child will obey you because he respects you, not because he is afraid of you." 

The cutest love story to ever exist is the story of Kanye's grandparents - Pop-Pop and Mom-Mom - James and Fannie West. They were married for sixty years. James passed away on December 28, 2006 and, the very next day, Fannie joined him. Although it's extremely sad, it also shows that one can die of a broken heart. 

In kindergarten, Kanye's teacher said that academically he was fine but socially, he was not. He did not work well with others and self centered. Interesting to hear from a kindergartener teacher!

Because Donda was a professor, although Kanye hardly ever got in trouble, when he did, she made him, "do a full-blown research paper complete with footnotes and bibliography. I gave him three topics to choose from, but I only remember the topic he chose....until he finished that paper to my satisfaction, there was to be no television, no going to play basketball, no friends over, or any other activity."

"I would say that anyone who grows up to be a reasonably well-adjusted, fulfilled individual has to be have had someone there - a mother, a father, a teacher, a pastor, a friend or other family member - who really loved them and made it known. If you don't get that, you can't grow up feeling good inside even if you defy the odds and become successful." 

I love, love, love her quotes - her parenting style - it's no wonder Kanye constantly praised her - and I can see the spiral since she has been gone. 

Kanye always had a love for music - he preferred to be in the house making music instead of getting in trouble. He bought his first keyboard when he was 14 - with the $1,000 his mom gave him for Christmas. 

College Dropout, the album, was no lie. Kanye did go to college - the American Academy of Art in Chicago - but that lasted three semesters. By that point, Kanye was solely focused on music. He decided to move to New York - Atlanta and finally settled for New Jersey to help push some of his music. 

Kanye focused most of his life on making music - not joining gangs, not fitting in with the wrong crowd, just trying to find that perfect transition from producer to rapper - with no one taking him seriously. He experienced rejection after rejection after rejection - and not giving up. He had his first big break opening up for Usher and was able to sign a record deal the next year with Roc-A-Fella records. Then the accident happened. 

In 2002, Kanye West was involved in a very bad car accident on his way home from the studio. He was unrecognizable. His face was swollen and broken in three places. What I didn't know is that when Kanye West fell asleep at the wheel at 4am, he ended up hitting another car and the man had two broken legs and had to take work off so he was not able to take care of his family. Kanye's Mother and the insurance broker both wanted him to lie on the insurance claim and not admit to falling asleep at the wheel but Kanye West couldn't and didn't want to lie. It doesn't actually say if he had to pay anything out or what happened further, but he was convinced that he needed to be honest. 

I have to say that one of my favorite Kanye West songs is "Through the Wire" and I think I have an admiration for it because he literally sang that song with his mouth wired shut right after his accident. 

Donda was extremely supportive of her son. When College Dropout came out, she went to Best Buy and bought 10 copies of it. She didn't have to buy her sons CD, especially since she was Kanye West's mom. But she chose to and that was her way of being supportive. 

Kanye was raised to speak the truth and be open and honest and not lie about things. As we know and see, he can be vocal but he was taught to stand up for things that he believes in or has a strong opinion on. Sometimes that impacted his career - such as him saying that George Bush doesn't care about black people, or going up on stage during Taylor Swift's award. 

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What do I love about this book/the way he was raised:
-Donda didn't put a cap on Kanye, she didn't tell him he can only reach so far, she let him live out his dreams, she took him to China for one year and I love how she parented him
-I love how Kanye West was able to use his foundation to help those in need during Hurricane Katrina
-In 2006, Kanye created a drop-out prevention program that involved music production and rap and 75 8th graders attended this one-semester pilot program

What I did not like about the book:
-She spent an entire chapter talking about the "N" word - how certain versions are more acceptable and it's not the word that's the problem but the power the word is given
-Some of the chapters were boring or not as interesting as others
-I think she had excuses sometimes for Kanye's behavior

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What I would rate it: 7/10

"Why be here on this earth if nobody notices? Why be here if you're not going to make a difference? Why be alive if you're not going to live?"

If you read this, let me know your thoughts in the comments below!